Step 2 - Tune into the internal sensations in your body

Your emotions will show up as uncomfortable sensations across your body. Is it a burn in your chest? A knot in your throat? Butterflies in your stomach? If you can self-soothe by resting your hands on the points in your body where you feel the sensation, do so. Note that this practice may feel foreign if you haven't tried self-soothing before. Taking 10 deep breaths (count 3 seconds as you breathe in, 1 second as you hold, and 2 seconds as you breathe out) at the same time will help the sensation dissipate.

Step 3 - Follow up with a quick self-compassionate action that actually addresses the emotions and sensations

For example…

“I'm feeling lethargic”: go on a quick walk with your favourite song, or look up and complete a short uplifting Dance Workout YouTube video

“I'm feeling unloved”: open up to someone you are close to and ask if you can chat about how you're feeling

“I feel all over the place”: take 10 minutes to organise your thoughts, to jot down all the mental tabs in your mind, or to journal

It may be very helpful to write down multiple soothing activities that take 5-10 minutes - and to become familiar with these tools to turn to when in need of emotional regulation.

Overall, to practice body acceptance in the short term you must allow yourself to validate and honour how you feel (4). However, after this emotional release, it's important to move past staying 'stuck' in the emotions and to follow through with an actionable act of self-compassion. By practising this and then allowing yourself to enjoy life as you are in this moment, you are embodying body acceptance (even if you have goals for the future!)

Remember: your body hasn’t fundamentally changed from the last hour to now, from yesterday to today, or even from last week to this week…what has changed is your emotional state. By fostering mindfulness through self-compassion, rather than burying emotions, you learn to observe your negative thoughts about your body without getting caught up in them or believing them to be truths.

Change your language

The language we choose to use shapes how we think and how others think (5). While we can't control what others say, we can control what we say out loud. We can shift the language we use almost instantly: you can decide to start today!

In the context of body acceptance, it's helpful to get into the practice of distinguishing thought from fact.

For example, instead of saying “I looked so much better when I was thinner” (a thought) try “I abided more to a thinner beauty standard back then” (a fact).

Instead of saying “I got so fat after this holiday, I really need to get back to my normal self” (thought) try “a combination of eating out more and a change in routine has been so fun, but I’m feeling mentally fuzzy and physically drained, and it’s probably showing up as water retention. (fact) I'm looking forward to starting my regular healthy habits that make me feel my best again.”

While the former reinforces the rejection of your body, the latter encourages you to challenge your thoughts — allowing you to practice body acceptance more easily.

You can practice avoiding language that reinforces a transactional relationship between food and exercise while focusing on language that approaches body and food more neutrally. For example…

• Instead of “I worked out today, so it's okay to eat this” try “it's okay to eat this. Whether I worked out or not today, my body needs energy.”

• Instead of “let's walk after dinner to burn it off” try “I've found that walking after dinner helps with digestion.”

• Instead of “I can't eat that, I'm wearing a bikini later” try “I’ve noticed that having that food is really uncomfortable for my stomach. To be honest, I’m feeling a bit nervous to be in a bikini later since I’m working on my relationship with my body. I might decide to order that later.”

Again, the former encourages you to view food (and changes it may bring to your body) in a negative light, while the former encourages you to start viewing food and your body in a more neutral light.

How to practice body acceptance in the long term

It's important to remember that body image issues are never just about your body or how a person looks — which is why telling someone “you’re beautiful just the way you are” doesn’t help pretty much anyone struggling with body image in the long term. Body image issues are often about something deeper and they serve some kind of purpose (6). Your body image issues may be protecting you from something, helping you cope with a difficult emotion, making you feel safe, and trying to help you get your emotional needs met — and often, there are multiple reasons or root causes at the same time.

To practice body acceptance in the long term, it is crucial to understand what your body image struggles are teaching you about your beliefs and your unmet emotional needs (6).

Let's explore what beliefs may be leading rise to your body image struggles and outline ways of working on dismantling these beliefs. This work can take time, is multi-layered, & may require the help of a qualified professional.

Do you often feel an overwhelming need to 'look attractive' to others?

This may look like…

• intense body insecurities and anxieties especially in the space of dating and partnership

• feeling intense dislike for the parts of your body that don’t conform to the beauty and body ideal you feel is expected of you or desired by others.

• A lot of body checking throughout the day in terms of hair, makeup, clothing, and other appearances

• Feeling like you overly hyper-focus on small 'flaws' such as blemishes, cellulite, wrinkles

If so, your body image struggles may arise from the belief that 'looking the right way' is the key to getting your needs for attention, secure partnership, and abundant intimacy met…and they revolve around wanting to look attractive.

To work on body acceptance in the long term, these are tools you'll want to explore:

• Educate yourself on how arousal and attraction work so that you engrain the understanding that objectification can't be the basis of a healthy relationship

• Build your capacity to face rejection, abandonment, or heartbreak by practising vulnerability

• Understand your attachment style so you avoid “blaming” your body for relationship struggles

• Pick up and improve at various hobbies, which help to get attention (a natural human need) outside of your appearance and your body's looks

Do you often feel like you never quite fit in anywhere, like there's something different about you, or that you're not 'accepted' in social settings?

This may look like…

• avoiding conflicts and often putting others' needs above your own (people pleasing)

• wanting to blend in and fearing being pointed out or noticed

• feeling anxiety around any aspect of your appearance that you think could get you rejected or judged by others

• being highly sensitive and spending a long time deciphering what other people mean

If so, your body image issues may arise from the (often unconscious) belief that “looking the right way” is the key to getting your needs for connection and social belonging met. They revolve around wanting to look “just good enough” so you're not judged, laughed at, or excluded.

To work on body acceptance in the long term, these are tools you'll want to explore:

• Allow for authenticity (drop the 'masking') so it can help you shift from trying to “fit in” constantly, to finding genuine connections with your people

• Build up resilience and competence in the face of setting boundaries, self-advocacy, and conflict

• Let go of feeling fully responsible for other people and experiences (eg. making sure they feel good above your own needs or desires)

• If you’ve felt discriminated against (for your race, sexuality, or sex), turn anger and blame away from your body…towards dismantling discrimination through activism

Do you often struggle with high-functioning perfectionist tendencies and feel like you have to excel at everything you do?

This may look like…

• being terrified of being seen as lazy or 'out of control'

• finding it extremely important to do things 'right'

• viewing fatness as a visible sign of laziness and poor moral character, and thinness/leanness as a visible sign of self-control and moral excellence

• feel overly preoccupied with being or looking as fit and lean as possible because you feel a strong desire to impress others and to be respected and admired by others

If so, your body image issues may arise from the (often unconscious) belief that “looking the right way” is the key to getting your need for respect and/or status met— and they revolve around wanting to look disciplined, in control, or “like they have their life together.”

To work on body acceptance in the long term, these are tools you'll want to explore:

• Unpack the idea that worth is based on productivity, hard work, sacrifice and self-control through education and intentional rest

• Learn to be okay with failure, imperfection, and being human

• Pinpoint and let go of rigid tendencies that are causing you more harm than good, and practice mental flexibility

• Fill out a sense of self-worth outside how you look - through a hobby, passion, or project

• Dismantle fatphobia

Do you often feel disconnected from your body and emotions and find it hard to know how to take care of your body?

This may look like…

• experiencing a pattern of not going to the toilet until you can't hold it in anymore, or not eating until you feel dizzy & have to

• feeling like you often self-sabotage: you need to feel 'in control' but often you find that it leads to you being 'out of control'

• struggling with trust and vulnerability

If so, your body image issues may arise from the (often unconscious) belief that “looking the right way” is the key to getting your needs for safety and security met.

To work on body acceptance in the long term, these are tools you'll want to explore:

• Tune into and act on the body’s sensations: hunger, fullness, thirst, arousal, and desire. You can practice this through mindfulness or meditation, and also through education

• Learn how to feel, tolerate and distinguish emotions

• Rebuild trust in your relationship with your body: which can involve trauma or grief work

In a culture where aesthetic ideals are aggressively marketed, it's no surprise that many grapple with body acceptance. Yet, it's essential to realise that body acceptance isn't about an unattainable standard of perfection, but rather about embracing ourselves as we are. Through short-term tools (the practice of self-compassion, mindfulness, and challenging our language and beliefs) and long-term tools (digging deeper to uncover and address our underlying beliefs and unmet emotional needs), we can begin the journey towards body acceptance. While the path may be challenging, it's a transformative process that empowers us to live more authentically, building a foundation of self-worth that isn't predicated on mere appearance.